His Only Weakness
by GrandiloquentHeartlessness
Summary: Tom Quincy was not weak. Until her, that is. Tommy/Jude WARNING: contains major spoilers for 4th season, last episode.


Disclaimer: yeah yeah

**Disclaimer**: yeah yeah. I know. Instant Star isn't mine. I'm just playing around with Tommy's mind. I'll get out when I'm done. I promise.

**WARNING: contains MAJOR spoilers for last episode EVER**

**A/N:** _WOAH!! I'm writing an Instant Star fanfiction! Forgive me if some of the details are a bit sketchy. I haven't seen the earlier episodes for a while. This is my very very first Instant Star fanfiction! Enjoy! (btw, Tommy is, and I quote, "An Orlando Bloom sundae smothered in Johnny Depp sauce" I just felt like saying that.)_

**His One Weakness.**

Tom Quincy was not weak.

As a child, he had dealt with his mother's abusive temper. He had learned to stand still as she yelled. Learned to harden himself to her words. One night,

When he was only five years old, after an especially rough dinner- during which his mother had broken a plate by banging it on the kitchen table- he wiped his eyes and vowed that she would never again see him cry.

At school he was always a force to be reckoned with. If a foolish classmate tried to make fun of him for his shabby clothes, or his singing voice- and there was always one- well, they soon learned their lesson. He was the tough kid, the bad boy, the one no one ever dared to touch. From a young age, he knew that if you wanted to survive in this world, your fists were usually your only hope.

And of course, no one could accuse Tom of being weak when it came to matters of the heart. Oh, he went through the messy crushes of childhood like any other kid. He was devastated when his first ever girlfriend dumped him at recess in fourth grade. But by the time he was fourteen, he had decided he was finished with the business of "love". He had many girlfriends after that, obviously, but he was always careful not to let his heart get involved. It was far too dangerous.

And the music business was most definitely not for the meek. When he left simple "Tom Quincy" behind, and became "little Tommy Q" of Boyz Attack, he thought his whole outlook on life was going to change. If he was famous, no one would dare do anything to him. No one would try to hurt him ever again. What. A. Joke. Fame was harder then he could've imagined. Oh sure, there were the five star hotels, the fans who adored him, no school, late nights, parties, money, booze, and of course, his pick of girls. But with that, came the backstabbing, jealousy, fakers, posers, crazy stalkers, scams, and who could forget "creative expression"- the label's way. But Tommy Q was still not a quitter. A complainer, sure. A fighter, always. But at least he always stuck with it. It was his dream- had always been his dream- and he would never give up. Until they took away his single. When he did eventually leave Boyz Attack, it wasn't because it was hard- at least, that's what he told himself- it was for the music.

Tommy's first point of real weakness was Angie. She was sweet and kind and attentive, and so beautiful. She was the first one he'd let his guard down for. The first person he'd dared to "love" in years. But she wanted to get married. Tommy Q couldn't have that. He had his career to think about, after all. He hadn't expected her to die. He'd always thought he would feel the need to cry, if something happened to her. He'd thought that about Portia, too- before he'd divorced her. But all that happened in the aftermath of losing Angie was that he built the walls even higher.

He was living firmly and safely inside those walls, when he met _her_. Jude Harrison. Instant Star winner. He was outraged when Georgia first told him he had to be her producer. She was thoroughly amateur, when she started. Right out of her basement. She wasn't even sixteen. Yet for some reason, when he saw her- dyed red hair and all- he kept having to tell himself "she's too young Quincy. Not her. Not now.". He was startled by the strange pull this girl seemed to have on him. Even has he tore her lyrics apart, insulted her, wiped that little self-satisfied smile off her face, he had to admit, she had talent.

He finally agreed to produce her- he was strangely eager to improve her music. More eager then he'd been in a long time, about anything. He tried frightfully hard to ignore the way she looked at him sometimes. He was determined not to get involved with a fifteen-year-old. That was too much for even little Tommy Q to do.

After a while, it got easier, for a time. Only because, after a while, there was Sadie. Tommy told himself Sadie was who he truly wanted. Told himself he wasn't using her. Honesty was never his strongest point.

On her sixteenth birthday, he decided he couldn't fight it- fight her- any more.

So they kissed, and broke up, and got together and broke up, and he hurt her over and over again, and felt guilty for it every time. Not that he would ever tell her that.

Despite how he treated her, she kept coming back. Risked her career to get him his single. Chose him over Shay and Jamie, and Spiederman. Kept on loving him.

When G-Major seemed to fail, and Jude was given a choice, he was so afraid of losing her. It could almost have been called panic, the fear he felt. But she chose him. Him. Over the guy who had loved her nearly all her life. And Tommy was able to admit to himself, finally, that he loved her. Tom Quincy loved Jude Harrison. _Loved_.

He remembered her laughable attempt at seduction, and remembered how close it had come to working. He remembered the feel of her in his arms and how she was a million times better then any girl on the goddamned list. He loved her, and best of all, she loved him, and everything was finally right with the world.

But they couldn't have peace.

Whether it was Darius, or the music, or Jude being jealous, or- all too often- his past, they couldn't just stay together.

When he condemned her from the inside of a jail cell he knew all too well, he thought he would die. He wanted to die. Somehow- no matter how hard he tried- he couldn't put back the emotional walls that had protected him for most of his life.

On top of that, when he got back, they told her what he had done to her, made her crazy- and on top of that, ruined her album and probably her career.

He could have apologized, but he got angry instead. Because she had called him weak online. He had told her she was poison, and watched her break yet again. He regretted it, too. He was the real poison, he knew.

She forgave him, a little, and they knitted together a strange fragile friendship. It couldn't have been enough for very long anyway.

Then, somehow, they were truly together again. Somehow, she was kissing him again. Somehow, she still loved him.

He proposed. He had done it once before. But this was different. This time he was sure he could spend the rest of his life with her. When she said yes, he was on top of the world, he had something concrete- proof that this time, finally this time, they would stay together, and he would never hurt her again.

But not Tommy and Jude. Oh no. They had to split up again, and all too soon at that.

It was different though. This time, _she_ left him. _She_ walked away. Forever.

He put on a brave face as he waved goodbye.

But he went home and cried.

For the first time in almost twenty years, he sobbed.

Tom Quincy, the person who had vowed to put weakness behind him- sobbed onto a picture of the only one he ever truly loved. His one. His Jude Harrison.

His only weakness.

**A/N** _Hmmm… It's disturbing to me how many angst stories I've been writing lately. I am like, the farthest thing from angsty most of the time. Anyway, I thought the story was good, but as the writer, my point of view on these things is usually a bit messed up- and my friend who usually helps me edit my stuff doesn't watch Instant Star. So… Review beloved reader people!! (also, you should check out my other stuff, if it should please you to do so.)_


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